if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize