she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
