just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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