Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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