She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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