he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
