One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize