Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Randomize
