So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
