Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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