I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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