if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
