i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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