so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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