no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
