For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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