she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
