Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
