Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
