your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
