if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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