Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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