dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
