don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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