I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Randomize
