And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
