Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
are you so shy because you have an std?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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