I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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