OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
