I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
