Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
