'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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