He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
