was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
40s are totally the cure
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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