Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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