someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
