yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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