I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
