You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sext me about skeletons
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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