Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Apparently you make a good broom.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
