Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
