i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize