i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
