You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
