just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
