420 ftw
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
