Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize