Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
