let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
