The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
