It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
