Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think your dad took our porno
So vagazzling was a success
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
