Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
