is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
