so explain again why im purple
no
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
